Walking Through the Refinement of Fire

Sometimes we’re put through the ringer.

I’m sure we signed up for it before we were born. I’m sure it’s part of learning how to create heaven ... here ... and now. Still, when you’ve been doing shadow work your whole life and then everything ruptures at once, it’s not always pleasant.

What is enjoyable, though, is the noticing.

The witnessing.

Everytime I am near a campfire lately... it seems I have jumped right in!

I had a dream last night. My friend was afraid; they felt like they were on fire. When I touched them, my hand sizzled, like accidentally touching a hot stove. Moving my hand back and shaking out the heat, I said: maybe you are… maybe this is your purification period. I explained what I do when I feel this way. Some of us walk through fire. It’s one way to cross thresholds, to leave past experiences behind while keeping the lessons. To let go of the energy, even the memories.

Some of us walk through fire.

It’s one way thresholds are crossed - saving the lesson and releasing the energy, sometimes even the memory.

In the dream, I told them what I did when I was in my own fire.

I drove to one of my favorite places, a geothermal pool, and I swam. As I moved through the water, old themes surfaced: religious fear, not being good enough, not fitting the mold, not being worthy of heaven.

And in that moment, something resolved.

It didn’t matter if an outside force accepted me or not.

It didn’t matter if a god existed who could only love conditionally.

I decided I would.

No matter what realm I wake up in.

No matter what anyone thinks of me.

No matter anything outside myself.

Because loving myself is my responsibility.

Logic followed grace. If a small human like me can love this fully, then surely there are higher orders of being who do as well. And I told my friend: if you don’t want to go alone, I’ll hold your hand.

So I did ... until they chose their next step.

Which was to go solo - into the trees, near the lakes - to quest for themselves.

I’m sharing this because the dream didn’t feel coincidental. Many of us are walking parallel initiations right now, each in our own flavor. And I want you to know: you can do it.

You can love yourself more than you ever imagined.

You can move through realms with ease.

You will emerge transformed - swan-like, Inanna on the other side.

— ((This photo is from our Innana retreat at Mavens' Haven ))

And Family Can Be Tricky

Sometimes… the ringer includes family.

The dissonance can be vast.

We want to understand.

We try to.

And sometimes the highest expression of love is simply: I see you. I love you. I feel differently. And then step away.

My family is gathering for dinner and fun today.

I am at a moon ritual with friends.

One of them expressed concern:

“Keep an open mind, stay informed.”

My mind is already more open than most… not by choice, but by design.

Shadow work over a lifetime opens awareness. It makes sense that someone newer to this path might feel worry.

I surrender to what is. Accept it as neutral. Time isn’t linear. Although it may feel like “I went first,” it’s simply their moment now, and I will meet them again soon. The dissonance gap cannot close by my will alone; it will close when divinely ready.

Until then, I stay in love.

I stay in neutrality.

I stay in my own fire: refined, not burned.